After finding themselves somehow interested in what the paper had to say, sources report that the Brown Daily Herald is becoming scarily relevant to daily life.
“I never thought I could get so desperate for news that I’d read the BDH,” said Emily Fromme ’21. “In fact, I didn’t even know that the Herald printed news. I thought it was mostly word searches and pictures of University Hall. That, and students having opinions.”
“This whole year has been awful, but it only really hit me when I realized I had bookmarked the BDH website,” Fromme said as “brown daily herald” auto-filled into her search bar. “I mean, what the heck is going on?”
“I even sent my roommate an article. Who does that?” Fromme asked as she scanned her third breaking update of the day. “The only person who’s ever forwarded an article to me was my aunt, and that one was about it snowing on campus.”
Fromme was reassured by the fact that things could be worse, knowing it’ll be a cold day in hell before she’s desperate enough to read the Indy.