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Condemning their strong arms and ability to sleep restfully through the night, members of the “Baby Boomer” generation born in the years after World War II have criticized Millennials for having younger, stronger, and more virile bodies. Boomers are reportedly frustrated that the younger people feel entitled to the ability to lift more and walk further without complaining about sore knees or backs.
“When I was their age I was working 12-hour days at the sawmill,” said 63-year-old Chad Henderson, who recently wrote an editorial for his local paper decrying how the younger generation took the relatively high amount of cartilage cushioning their joints for granted. “Now I am old and can’t do that kind of work anymore, so of course I resent these millennials and their healthy bodies. It’s always, ‘Here, let me get that,’ or ‘I have soooooo many years ahead of me,’ with them. Christ, give it a rest already."
Other Boomers seem perplexed by what they see as Millennials’ expectation that there is still something to look forward to in life, saying that the good times are over and it is high time the younger generations looked up from their phones and realized that their strong bodies won’t be strong forever. “I’m so unhappy with my life right now,” added Henderson.
Rebecca Martin, 67, says she cannot stand the way the recent college graduate she hires to mow her lawn has such an apparently easy time doing it, when such a task would be very difficult for her at her age. “It’s a matter of work ethic," said Martin. "He’s able to do so much more, and I despise him for it. That’s just not the way my generation acts now that we’re many years older.”
Martin also complained about how much, how often, and how readily millennials seemed to have sex with each other, saying that she would like to still want to and be able to do that.
