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The Brown Noser

Baby Definitely Going To Go By Middle Name In A Few Years

Published Friday, September 27th, 2024

Experts predict that a local baby is definitely going to go by his middle name in a few years. “Well, it was my grandfather’s name you see. And his father’s name before him,” explained Leigh-Anne Todd, while changing the diaper of her son Bugshit Owen Todd. “I want to say that it’s German? Maybe Welsh!”

“Sure, the nurses gave me a funny look when they saw the birth certificate of my precious Bugshit,” continued Leigh-Anne, failing to notice her infant son already grimacing at the sound of his own name. “But nay-sayers like that thrive off of the attention you give them. Just pay them no mind, okay Bugshit?”

“Oh, I truly hope my little Bugshit never feels ashamed by his name. He should be proud of the family heritage that he carries with him!” proclaimed Leigh-Anne, as Bugshit’s father Foogarp ‘Andrew’ Todd, arrived home from work. “But if he really hates it, well, I suppose it’s up to him. There’s no controlling a Bugshit in this family, you know.”

At press time, Leigh-Anne was overheard trying to convince the Etsy embroiderer that her request was not a prank.

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