According to sources near the Martin household, newborn baby Debra has been freaking everyone out. “I’ve just never met a baby named Debra,” commented Debra’s babysitter Christine, eyeing the swaddled infant, whose name is Debra. “Something about the thought of having to change Debra’s diapers, drive Debra to daycare, help Debra get changed. Her being named Debra is really making me uncomfortable. The Martins won’t even let us call her Debbie.” At press time, community members were increasingly concerned that nearby baby Chase would grow up to be a douchebag with a bowl cut.

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