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Serving quality Mexican food and excessive amounts of cream cheese to Brown’s student population, the Bagel Gourmet franchise has always remained a marketable one.
Following their successful expansion downtown to Brown’s new medical center, the owners of Bagel Gourmet have broken new ground once again, beginning construction on another location inside Bagel Gourmet Ole on Thayer Street. The new location, to be called “Bagel Gourmet Aie Aie Aie,” hopes to revolutionize the industry once again.
“We know what the students want,” said owner and proprietor Jorge Cantillo. “We know that sometimes, you go to Bagel Gourmet Ole, and it’s super busy, there’s a gigantic line. Then you just leave. We want to take advantage of that. We want students to think, ‘Oh, there’s a crazy line here. I should just go to the other Bagel Gourmet in this same building, over there by the oven. That one’s deserted.’”
“Yeah, it’s really made my mornings go a lot smoother,” said David Ross ’13 as the two lines threatened to intersect. “I used to just walk here, see there was a line and decide to just not eat that day. Sometimes I wouldn’t eat for three days. But since this new one opened, I generally eat every day.”
When informed that other Bagel Gourmets, in addition to other restaurants entirely, existed just down the street, Ross said, “What?”
In addition to saving students from waiting in one line by creating an entirely different one, the new Bagel Gourmet is expected to offer the same consistency students have come to enjoy by refusing to hire additional staff to man the second interior location.
“We were mainly worried about loss of quality,” Cantillo said as two twenty-person lines to the same place occupied the tiny room behind him. “It was like, ‘What if people don’t like this burrito as much as the one they’re used to?’ Then they’ll stop coming to the new location and just keep coming to the old location, which is located in the same room as the new location.”
“Am I making myself clear?” Cantillo asked as the one woman working both counters screamed, “Large chicken quesadilla!” and seven students from two lines with no perceptible difference crashed into each other to claim said quesadilla.
“Oh, sorry, this is a cheese quesadilla,” the woman continued, as the seven students lost their places in the circular line-esque mass, and 3 pans full of simmering beef simultaneously lit on fire due to neglect.
When asked if he had any plan in place to deal with potential special issues, Cantillo replied, “No.” He then trudged towards an overflowing coffee pot and a student passed out from heat exhaustion.
Cantillo, unable to escape through the now student-filled doorway, then chiseled a hole through the wall and crossed the street to grab some pizza at the ghost town previously known as Nice Slice.
