Sunday, December 8, 2019
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The Brown Noser

Balloon from Your 3rd Grade Birthday Party Still Lodged In Leatherback Turtle’s Esophagus

Published Friday, October 25th, 2019

Divers report that the balloon from your 3rd grade birthday is still fully lodged in an adult leatherback turtle’s gullet. “Our wondrous dive with these majestic creatures was shattered when we noticed that one poor creature had some red plastic caught deep in its throat,” recalled a somber swimmer, referring to the helium-filled balloon that you once gleefully released into the sky at the age of nine. “Unfortunately, before we managed to do anything about the disgusting plastic junk that was tormenting the poor reptile, the leatherback swam off.” As of press time, the balloon that delighted you all those years ago had finally dislodged into the turtle’s stomach, where it would remain for another decade.

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