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Jacksonville University football fans were overjoyed to hear yesterday that their beloved squad of underdogs still has a shot at winning the league championship, if the team had been able to make playoffs. Coach Hanson and his team reported being confident in their ability to rise above the expectations that missing playoffs means an end to their season.
“I really think it’s all about who gets hot going into playoffs,” said the coach whose team was unable to obtain a playoff berth for the 2013 postseason. “Sure, people are going to doubt us, but we’re not going to give up just because the league officials tell us to.”
Many players felt the league’s decision to exclude their team from playoffs just inspires them even further towards winning this year’s title. The team of lionhearted underdogs has continued to train everyday for their first playoff game despite having been statistically eliminated from playoff contention.
“Look, records don’t mean anything once you reach the postseason,” said quarterback and captain John Pinker, after leading his team to an 0-16 season and rendering them ineligible for playoffs. “This game is all about who wants it most, and we’ve got more heart than any team in this league.”
Taking nothing for granted, the determined team has spent the past week in preparation for the nonexistent big game. Coaches have designed several unorthodox yet legal trick plays that will utilize smaller team members whose cooperative antics will confound their larger, statistically favored opponents—or they would, if the team were actually going to play a playoff game. The team also plans on starting a mysterious out-of-towner named Flash, or maybe Ricardo Speed.
Student and football fan Dana Timson noted that an incredible feeling of school spirit has swept through the campus as the team prepares for a playoff game they will not playing in.
“The whole school’s really fired up,” said Timson, who roots for a team that no longer has any games scheduled because they lost too many times. “We can’t wait to be out there in the stands supporting them this Friday night.”
