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The Brown Noser

Bid For Washington Bridge Design Awarded To Team With Tallest Marshmallow Spaghetti Stick Tower

Published Friday, September 27th, 2024

Rhode Island Governor Dan McKee announced that the bid to redesign the Washington Bridge, which recently began crumbling into the Seekonk River, will be awarded to whichever team constructs the tallest marshmallow spaghetti stick tower.

“We thought we’d go with a tried and true approach to construction,” said McKee at a press conference in front of the dilapidated bridge. “At every office bonding event, we try out this fun spaghetti stick marshmallow activity — it has proven team-building success! If it works for us at the capital, I can’t imagine it won’t solve those silly engineering pickles.”

As chunks of the bridge fell into the River, McKee pulled out a pack of grocery store spaghetti. “You just take a few of these here sticks and stack ‘em! I hear triangles are the strongest shape, so maybe it’s worth starting with three,” he said. “And whoever ends up with the tallest one to support one of these little marshmallow guys, you get the bridge — we’ll know you’re qualified.”

At press time, NASA announced whoever had the most successful egg drop would be selected to land a rover on Mars.

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