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The Brown Noser

Biden Reveals Secret To Long Lasting Marriage Remarrying When You're 40

Published Friday, March 15th, 2024

At a recent press conference, President Biden revealed the secret to a long-lasting marriage is simply remarrying when you’re 40. “It absolutely did wonders for us. I really recommend it to anyone out there having marital issues,” said Biden, confirming that the key to making your relationship with that special someone stand the test of time is usually starting over with someone new sometime during middle age. “They always say one of every two marriages ends in divorce, but Jill and I beat that ratio thanks to our thoughtful and understanding relationship that bloomed in our forties.” At press time, Biden also told reporters that the key to improving his dogs’ temperament was to replace them with other, more docile dogs still in their prime.

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