According to sources at the Nelson Fitness Center, big strong gym bro Lance Walters is no match for that big metal bar with other big pieces of metal at the ends.

“With a build like that, you’d think he’d kick that metal bar’s ass,” reported sophomore Harry Friedman, watching in awe as Walters struggled to push the big metal rod off of his chest and needed his buddy to come hold the metal too. “But man, that bar is just mopping the floor with him!”

“I’ve never seen someone as strong as Lance. He’s gotta be the biggest guy in here,” Friedman continued, as Walters shook under the weight of the metal bar and little drops of liquid poured down his face. “But I guess that big metal bar must be even stronger. If those big pieces of metal on the ends were just a little bit smaller, he’d fuck it up.”

At press time, that genius CS kid was no match for the screen with all the little numbers and letters on it.

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