Partly Cloudy, 64°
Junior Nelson Nibbs reportedly joined a cellular biology lab just to eat the cells.
“The work we do in this lab is very important for furthering our understanding of genotype sequencing,” said Nibbs, pulling his face up from a petri dish of glial cells and wiping his mouth dry. “We are looking at the future of genetic alterations here. This research could allow us to repair genetic mutations and put an end to things like cancer, ALS, and Alzheimer’s.”
“The paper I am working on is about cell culturing. Basically, we are growing cells in an artificial environment,” added Nibbs, pipetting a droplet of stem cells onto his fingertip and licking it. “They can be used to try and create blood for blood transfusions or even grow artificial organs. It is going to change lives.”
“The cardiomyocytes are the the most delicious—I mean, most promising of our research. These can be used for human heart reconstruction,” said Nibbs, licking his lips. “Who, me? Well, I’ve spent all day pipetting for this PCR. Sometimes I pipette them with my mouth, but it’s purely for efficiency’s sake.”
“There is a really wide variety of uses for these cells,” he added, slipping a sealed test tube of O-negative red blood cells discreetly into his backpack. “They can even be used as biological fuel. From what I’ve heard, it has proven to be a very effective source of energy. So the future of cells could even be as a food source, basically.”
At press time, a lab tech working with mice was just hoping to get some cheese out of it.
