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The Brown Noser

Blast! My Phaser’s Jammed! The Zandorfs Have Us Surrounded. Here, Take My Last 10 Galacti-Coins, And Tell My Space-Wife I Love Her, Now Go! by Captain Jeck

Published Friday, March 15th, 2024

Zaggs! We’re toast. 250 Zandorfs and only two of us. How many phaser pods do you have left? Mine’s jammed. This may just be the end for me, Bleezo. Damn it, I’m Captain Jeck! I can squeeze out of just about anything, but not this. We had fun, though, didn’t we? Remember that time we swindled those Gerzads out of all their Photon Cubes? What a riot. Bleezo, just don’t forget me, alright? You can make it out of this one, but not me. This is my time. Here, take my last 10 Galacti-Coins. Should be enough to get you a one way ticket off this heaping hunk of space trash. Gosh, if I’d-a-known I’d be biting it today, I might’ve worn a shinier suit. Can’t believe I’m dying on Rebulon, what a second-rate planet. Bleezo, tell my space-wife I love her, she won’t take it well. She’ll try and slap you with a tentacle, but you just have to duck. We’re running out of time. Those Zandorfs move slowly, but not slowly enough. I’ll distract them while you make a run for it. Don’t be silly, you’re young! You’ve got a whole space life ahead of you. Take hold of it while you can. Kiss a Triforb, ride a Klengus. Remember, never trust a Gleeb-Gloop. Now go!

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