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Blue-eyed man Olav Von Hansen is not scary at all, according to multiple close friends.
“You know people always joke about that intimidating ‘blue eyed stare.’ But personally, I found Olav’s arctic ocean gaze quite attractive,” said Jessica Thomas, sitting next to Von Hansen as he ran his finger along the edge of a swiss army knife. “Olav is an intense guy, but he’s been nothing but lovely to me.”
“I can second that!” piped in Morticia James whilst being gently nudged in the rib by Von Hansen’s Glock 22. “Olav is as sweet as apple pie and as warm as a summer sunset,” she added, making contact with Von Hansen’s bug-eyed stare. “There’s nothing to fear here!”
At press time, Von Hansen was spotted staring deep into an abyss, tying a noose, and muttering about “green-eyed floozies.”
