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The Brown Noser

Boring Nosebleed Caused By Hereditary Hemorrhagic Telangiectasia Instead Of Super Powers

Published Friday, February 6th, 2026

In a disappointing turn of events, the nosebleed just experienced by local 12-year-old Victor Atkinson is the result of a genetic blood vessel disorder rather than superpowers.

“I’m pretty sure I have psychic powers because every time I think about moving something with my mind, my nose bleeds,” said Victor, who had a more or less continuous stream of blood emanating from his nose. “I can’t actually do anything yet, so I probably just need to train up and strengthen my abilities.”

“Victor was diagnosed with a rare condition called HHT—no superpowers here!” explained a visibly disappointed Dr. Maurice Huber, dismantling his laboratory and elaborate child containment setup. “For once, I thought I’d found someone special. A child worthy of my scientific designs. But this one is boring, just like the rest.”

In other news, someone’s mouth started bleeding because they bit their tongue and not because they were about to die imminently.

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