Partly Cloudy, 64°
According to a recent account, this boy’s dorm is already stinky.
“I walked in and was hit in the face with a combination of bacon grease and B.O.,” said next-door neighbor Amy Dunham about the boy dorm that was very recently deep-cleaned by the boy, Ted’s, mothers on move-in day. “I was astonished that such an acrid stench could develop so quickly since this boy moved in just three days ago.”
“I am as impressed as I am disappointed by the sheer quantity of trash accumulated at this point,” Dunham added, glancing at a bottle of Febreeze the boy had not yet unpacked. “I would have thought the third bag would be his sign to take a trip to the dumpster, but maybe I’m just a neat freak.”
“As you get away from the entryway the scent starts to wane, but as you get near the closet, it really ramps up again,” Dunham remarked, cracking a window. “I’m getting a whiff of… mmm, I think it’s wet sneakers, but it could also be an unwashed gym outfit in the hamper. And Fritos.”
At press time, the boy dorm’s beds were each garnished with a single flat pillow and no top sheet.
