Partly Cloudy, 64°
Sources report that your boyfriend does not understand what you’re upset about but does, in fact, understand David Lynch’s 2001 film Mulholland Drive.
“The fact that you’re upset right now is insane to me. I’m very confident I haven’t said or done anything wrong ever,” reported your boyfriend, while scratching his itchy mustache. “But you know what isn’t insane? Lynch’s casting of a little person as Mr. Roque. Trust me, it was an informed decision.”
“Have you ever considered that the thing you’re upset about is nothing at all and you could simply decide to not be upset about it?” asked your boyfriend, putting his slightly long hair up into a pathetic little ponytail. “You know what wasn’t nothing at all? The cowboy in Mulholland Drive. He was a real person, not some angel or apparition creation of Justin Theroux’s character’s mind. He was just some weirdo. Trust me, it’s telegraphed all the way through.”
At press time, your boyfriend wasn’t listening to you but was listening to The Strokes.
