Sources report that a recent Brown summer meetup in Denver, Colorado was only attended by sophomore Chuck Mathers. “I’m from the East Coast but I had gotten an email about this so I assumed others would be going as well,” said Mathers, standing by a single bowl of chips on the designated Brown event table. “Maybe I should have taken that internship in Boston, or gone somewhere else. Even my friend in Portland went to a Brown event with more people. And don’t get me started on the ones in LA or New York City.” At press time, Chuck was seen half-heartedly trying to network with his waiter.

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