Wednesday, August 15, 2018
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The Brown Noser

Brown Shuttle Services to Begin a Special Night Bus Which Never Stops and Whose Passengers Never Get Off

Published Friday, March 9th, 2018

Following the success of the new counterclockwise bus route, Brown Shuttle Services announced yesterday that they will begin a special night bus which never stops and whose passengers stay on forever.

“We were very pleased with the positive reaction to our bus-route changes,” said Mark Seely, head of B.U.S., “so we added a nighttime service that will drive forever and ever into the night. Its passengers will never get off.”

“You may see it for a moment,” Seely added, “at a street hundreds of miles away in the dead of night when you’re all alone. But it will drive on. Its passengers will never get off.”

The new service will complement the existing routes by offering a direct way to the darkness. It will drive from dusk till the crack of dawn when it will not be seen. Students may track the shuttle on its endless journey on brownshuttle.transloc.com, and watch it drive, forever and ever into the night, until the blip on the map disappears and is never seen again.

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