Partly Cloudy, 64°
According to reports from the Student Activity Office, the long standing feud between Brown’s Unstoppable Force Club and The Center For Immovable Objects has finally come to an end.
“We’re just happy we have peace,” said spokesperson for the BUFC Jordan Jones, as she barreled through obstacles not even modern construction equipment could break through. “It feels like it’s been decades since the last time we were able to really just sit down and talk. We’ve been fighting for so long we’ve forgotten about why we even started in the first place. These are our parents and grandparents conflicts, not ours. We’re the Unstoppable Force Club for crying out loud! We could be putting our energy towards so many more productive ends, like moving other kinds of objects: rocks, trees, cars, buildings, you name it.”
“To be honest, it’s just nice to be able to relax,” said President of the CFIO Mikey Davies, as he rose from his chair, leaving a behind a deep imprint from his decades-long rest. “It’s been so long since we’ve been able to actually come up for air, take a look around, get our bearings. I haven’t seen my mother in years. We’ve just been so lost in this feud, so stuck in one place. We don’t have to be immovable all the time, sometimes, we can just be ourselves, and that’s ok.”
At press time, the Peanut Butter Club has just declared all out war on Students For Jelly.
