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The Brown Noser

Burger King Pretending Impossible Whopper The Only Burger They Sell Without Beef In It

Published Friday, March 6th, 2020

Sources report that fast food chain Burger King is pretending their new plant-based Impossible Whopper is the only burger they sell without beef in it.

“Here at Burger King, we’re proud to offer a meatless alternative to our traditional burgers,” said spokesperson Richard Gilhooly, completely ignoring the fact that the other Whoppers on Burger King’s menu contain no traces of real meat. “Now, vegans and vegetarians can enjoy a Burger King meal alongside all the meat-eaters out there.”

“Impossible has perfectly pulled off the real seasoned taste of an Angus beef patty with none of the beef,” Gilhooly continued, carefully glossing over the total absence of beef in any of Burger King’s other burger products. “Whether you expected it or not, Burger King truly is the king of all burgers — even the meatless ones!”

At press time, Burger King was also pretending to sell edible chicken sandwiches.

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