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The Brown Noser

CS TA Union Busted With Promise of Premium Discord Subscriptions

Published Saturday, February 18th, 2023

Through a series of concerted efforts, the CS TA Union has finally been busted with the promise of premium discord subscriptions.

“It all started when Professor Mike approached me with what he called ‘an offer I couldn’t refuse,’” said Ricky Malone, a young TA. “When he finally sat me down and showed me the screen, it was more than I could’ve ever imagined.”

“Before I could reach for the screen, Mike slammed the laptop shut,” described Malone as he typed on a phantom keyboard. “He told me there were going to be new terms to our negotiations.”

“At first, I held steady with our demands for reasonable working hours and proper compensation,” said Malone. "But 4k game streaming? I mean, come on.”

When Malone brought this offer back to his fellow unionizers, the decision was unanimous. “Sure we’ll be working 18 hour shifts locked in the CIT with only ten minutes for lunch, but during those ten minutes we’ll be using the custom emojis.”

At press time, the University’s Activism club has given up activism with the promise of big tipped markers.

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