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Brown’s campus is anxiously coming to terms with the fact that once the new Performing Arts Center is complete, it’ll be an unfortunate excuse for more student theater.
“I guess it hadn’t dawned on me before,” stated William Roxley ’24 as he deleted another Facebook invite to a friend’s play. “But once they finish that building, there’s going to be a lot more theater. People will perform arts nonstop. There will be no escape!”
“I’m already running out of excuses to not go to my friends’ shows," said Roxley as he tossed a pile of old playbills in the recycling bin. "Last week, I told my roommate that I had a midterm four nights in a row, and the week before that, I pretended to be asleep every time he asked me what my plans were. It’s getting ridiculous.”
“There’s a new show every weekend. And with this new theater, they’re going to be able to hold a different performance every hour,” lamented Roxley as his roommate slid a flyer for a musical about chairs under his door. “I’ve already been to two different puppet shows this semester. This new building will open the student theater floodgates! We’re all doomed! Doomed!”
At press time, Roxley had been waiting in line for two hours to get seats at a student production of Les Mis set in 1940s Brooklyn.
