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This past Monday, CareerLab revealed its new job-finding initiative of swaddling students in blankets and leaving them on companies’ doorsteps.
“The job search process can be very challenging for some students,” said Director of Career Services Matthew Donato. “But we’ve done some research, and have found that a student’s job prospects are highest when we wrap them in a warm blanket and abandon them outside a company’s headquarters in the dead of night.”
According to the new Swaddle and Drop initiative’s guidelines, each student who signs up will be wrapped in a cotton blend blanket, then placed in a large wicker basket with a note pinned to their shirt that says “Please Hire Me.” A CareerLab counselor will then drop the student off at the company headquarters of the student’s choice, ring the doorbell, and run away in tears.
“The truth is, we at CareerLab are in charge of caring for a lot of students, and we simply don’t have the resources for it,” Donato said, wiping a single tear from his cheek. “Maybe we started this whole career counselor thing when we were too young, I don’t know. But at this point, we really have no choice other than to give some students away. I’m sure that this way, they’ll have better careers than anything we could have given them.”
Once abandoned, Swaddle and Drop participants are encouraged to cry and wail until someone comes to the door and gives them a start date. Donato noted that there was a marked increase in student hiring when companies were given no choice in the matter. “What are you gonna do?" he asked. "Just leave a kid out in the cold with nothing but a blanket and an MCM degree to keep them warm?”
CareerLab is also integrating Swaddle and Drop with BrownConnect, and will soon be able to deliver students right to the homes of Brown alumni.
