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In a recent University statement, the Center for Career Exploration has announced their plan to do anything and everything but help you get a career.
“This is an exciting time for the center, as there are so many possibilities ahead in today’s job market,” began the statement, ignoring the fact that there are 6.9 million unemployed people in the United States. “We cannot wait to get our hands dirty and see you shine. In fact, we will be getting our hands dirty in our first event of the year: Potting Plants and Tending Your Garden. Finding a job is stressful, so let’s destress together and look at pretty flowers!”
“We have many initiatives coming up, including some fun classes for communicating in dog language,” continued the statement before plugging yet another job event that will get you nowhere. “And if dogs aren’t your thing, why not join us every Friday for some yarn making workshops? Our volunteers have lengthy experience in making yarn out of hair. Try it for yourself!”
At press time, ResLife announced plans to do everything but get you on-campus housing.
