Partly Cloudy, 64°
Reports indicate that a little chihuahua is way too puntable to be talking all this shit.
“The yappy little bastard seems to have absolutely no conception of the distances he could be launched,” said area man Ken Anderson. “I mean, this little shit keeps barking and barking as if one swift kick couldn’t put him into low orbit.”
“This puny pseudo-dog is utterly ignorant of the fact that with little more than a swing of my leg, I could send him to touch the face of God,” added Anderson. “I used to play soccer in high school.”
“He’s acting like that fence is the only thing keeping him off of me,” said Anderson. “Well, let me tell you, if he tries anything I’m airmailing him over the rainbow.”
At press time, a hippo was awfully quiet and respectful for a creature that could flatten you.
