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The Brown Noser

Child Existentialist Wants To Be When He Grows Up

Published Friday, December 6th, 2019

Presenting in front of his 3rd grade class, child existentialist Wesley Moraes declared that he wants to be when he grows up. “By the time I am an adult, I want to be,” said Moraes, contemplating the influence of his mortality on his free will. “Some of my biggest role models have been when they grew up. I want to be, just like them.” At press time, Moraes said that his favorite color was the deep, inescapable blackness of the night sky.

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