Presenting in front of his 3rd grade class, child existentialist Wesley Moraes declared that he wants to be when he grows up. “By the time I am an adult, I want to be,” said Moraes, contemplating the influence of his mortality on his free will. “Some of my biggest role models have been when they grew up. I want to be, just like them.” At press time, Moraes said that his favorite color was the deep, inescapable blackness of the night sky.

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