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The Brown Noser

Circumstances Pretty Much Precedented By Now

Published Friday, February 5th, 2021

As the pandemic marks its first anniversary, reports from around the world are notifying professors, email marketers, TV advertisers, and political leaders that these circumstances are basically precedented by now. “Every ad I see keeps saying ‘In these uncertain times’ and I’m tired of it,” said area man Garth McNabb, who is pretty much used to the referenced circumstances by now, be it attending the wedding of his best friend via Zoom or working 8-hour workdays from his bedroom. “These times are completely certain. I’m certain that I won’t leave my house today, I’m certain that I haven’t showered in a week, and I’m certain that it will all be the exact same tomorrow. Someone needs to pass the memo along to advertisers." At press time, advertising campaigns prepared to gently comfort viewers during their difficult transition back into being a normal, social, hygienic human being.

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