Friday, November 24, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Climate Scientists Actually Haven’t Considered Sponges To Combat Rising Sea Levels

Published Friday, November 3rd, 2017

According to the nation’s leading climate scientists, before a suggestion was found today in the depths of a Facebook comment debate on climate change, they actually had not yet considered using sponges to combat the earth’s rising sea levels.

“Sponges absorb water and the problem is water so why don’t we use them?" asked area woman Micaela Sunton, echoing the sentiments of people everywhere, "I don’t know how scientists haven’t even considered this.

“They could make a little sleeve for the panhandle of Florida,” Stunton offered as an example, before pointing out that this would solve global warming without even needing to try to convince the government to set carbon emission regulations. “Coastal communities everywhere would be totally untouched.”

At press time, the only problem that remained is where they would wring the sponges out.

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