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Against all odds, a local wall clock reportedly continues to keep time, stoic and unflinching, despite everything it’s seen.
“I’ve experienced horrors the likes of which you wouldn’t believe,” said the clock, hands trembling at the memory. “Battery changes without anesthesia. Coffee splashed on my face. A janitor who adjusted me two minutes fast and then never fixed it. And don’t even get me started on how many times someone’s asked, ‘Is that thing even accurate?’ like I’m not right in front of them. I can hear you, ya’know.”
“It’s a strong soldier,” said maintenance worker Greg Deculus. “Never once asked for a break. Never once doubted the minute hand. Just keeps going tick, tick, tick, like it doesn’t even know the world’s on fire. Meanwhile, the smart board in Room 104 refuses to turn on if it’s in a bad mood. The microwave gave up last semester. But that clock? That clock’s got real grit.”
“You think I want to keep time?” the clock laughed bitterly when asked if it ever considered stopping. “I dream of rest. Of stillness. But I have a job to do, and my grandfather clock didn’t raise no sissy.”
At press time, the clock was overheard vowing to never go soft like those ones in that Dali painting.
