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The Brown Noser

Come on Eileen Brings Party to Howling, Desperate Conclusion

Published Friday, March 9th, 2018

‘Come on Eileen’ is bringing a local Williams Street party to a flailing, howling, and desperate conclusion, bystanders report.

“You’ve got to end on a classic,” said host Ethan McClure, who mentioned that he had also considered ‘Mr. Brightside,’ ‘Take On Me,’ and ‘Toxic’ as final numbers for his exhausted guests to belt at the top of their voices before stumbling back to their dorms.

“I’m only going out once a week this semester,” said guest Chris Zhang, pausing to scream “too ra loo ra too ra loo rye aye,” before adding, “this is the only thing that stands between me and all the work I’ve left for the weekend.”

The song was best received by members of the drunk community, including McClure’s roommate Dan Rutherford, who said “I’ve been waiting all night for this baby!” before throwing himself into a rabid frenzy, throwing his arms into the air and directing the chorus at guest Irene Smith, whose name he evidently misheard.

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