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The Brown Noser

Commencement Hijacked By Enthusiastically Freestyling Lin-Manuel Miranda

Published Friday, April 29th, 2016

Composer, actor and playwright Lin-Manuel Miranda is hours into delivering an extemporaneous and entirely unsolicited commencement address, multiple witnesses reported this afternoon. Witnesses are reporting that Miranda, a notoriously energetic public personality and writer-star of hit musical “Hamilton,” has been delivering verse after verse of a witty commencement rap, laden with clever Brown-specific references, in syncopated rhyming couplets with no signs of stopping.

Sources from the commencement crowd said that, in between remarks given by student orators, a grinning Miranda strolled confidently to the center of the stage, gripped the lectern with both hands and launched into a humorous, off-the-cuff speech that simultaneously extolled the achievements of the graduating class and gave them valuable advice for life after college.

Alex Matsui ’16 said he and most of the other graduates were surprised at first, but when it became clear that the prolific and incessantly peppy MacArthur fellow was going to perform, the audience became excited. “I was applauding Mandy [Brewer ’16, the student speaker], when suddenly the Hamilton guy came out and started spitting sage but touching bars,” Matsui said. “Definitely weird that no one asked him to come do that though.”

Dean of the College Maud Mandel said Miranda’s appearance is particularly surprising, considering that Brown has had a long and somewhat unique tradition of not inviting celebrities to commencement and that Miranda has no formal affiliation with the university of any kind.

“But he’s the voice of a generation,” Mandel told reporters over the sound of Miranda’s voice, adding, “’In The Heights’ was incredible. I think he went to Wesleyan?”

President Christina Paxson P’19 said that despite his not being invited, the University was happy to have him. “Lin-Manuel is a national treasure,” Paxson said, gesturing to the breathless, sweating Miranda.

At press time, the still rapping Miranda was attempting to snap a selfie that captured the entire crowd in the background.

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