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The Brown Noser

Competitive Eater Eaten By More Competitive Eater

Published Wednesday, December 3rd, 2014

Warwick’s annual pumpkin pie-eating contest took an unexpected turn last Saturday when competitive eater Joey “Jaws” Chestnut was eaten alive by more competitive eater, Pete “The Mouth” Mahoney.

Sources confirm that Mahoney was falling slightly behind in the race when he made the decision to consume his competition. “I looked over my shoulder and saw that Jaws was already six pies in,” said Mahoney. “I knew I couldn’t catch up. But then I realized that if I ate him, I would technically be eating all of the pies he had already eaten.”

He added, “It was purely a strategic move—and a pretty brilliant one if you ask me.”

“I thought Jaws had this one on lock, but then The Mouth came out of nowhere and ate him,” said spectator Brady Phillips. “He’s hungry for the win! This is definitely the best pie-eating contest I’ve been to in a long time.”

“As a competitive eater, you can never get distracted,” said Mahoney, who ate Chestnut in just under three minutes. “You have to block out everything that’s going on and just keep eating until there’s nothing left.”

At time of press, Chestnut had eaten his way out of Mahoney’s stomach and regained the lead!

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