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The Brown Noser

Confused Man Refers To Every City As “The Windy City”

Published Friday, March 11th, 2016

Sources report that Warwick man Rob Warren kept referring to all major U.S. cities as “The Windy City” during an office party last Friday.

“The caterers did a great job but this pulled pork just doesn’t compare to the BBQ I had a few weeks ago in The Windy City,” said Warren, remembering the authentic barbecue he had on a recent business trip to Atlanta. “And I love deep dish, but I would kill for some ‘Windy City’-style pizza. You know what I’m saying?”

“Did Natasha tell me you’re visiting family in Maryland next month?” Warren asked a coworker later in the night. “They filmed all of ‘The Wire’ right there in The Windy City. There’s a great tour you should check out.”

By the end of the party, almost all of Warren’s coworkers reported having heard him refer to a city other than Chicago as “The Windy City.” They were left to wonder whether Warren thought that was the default nickname for all cities or just honestly could not remember which one it was.

“Yeah, he made the mistake with me after I told him I’m from San Francisco,” said coworker Sherri Colvin. “He nodded his head like he was really familiar with the area and said ‘Ahhhhh, the Golden Gate Bridge, The Windy City. It’s beautiful this time of year. Sure lives up to its name, though.’ He seemed confident so I thought it might’ve just been a weird joke.”

At the end of the night, Warren announced that he’d been offered a promotion. “Next month, I’ll be transferring to our corporate headquarters in The Windy City,” he explained to coworkers, referring to Boston, Massachusetts. “It’s going to be a huge step up from the tiny branch I started at in The Windy City up North,” he added, referring to Bismarck, North Dakota.

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