Partly Cloudy, 64°
An independent congressional watchdog group revealed yesterday that Representative Kevin Cramer (R-N.D.) was for some reason being paid for votes by the toy company Hasbro.
The report revealed that the company that makes all the Mr. Potato Heads was apparently sufficiently motivated to pay the North Dakota congressman enough money to sway his vote. In return, Cramer voted in Hasbro’s interest on all the bills concerning dolls and water guns that must inexplicably go through Congress.
“Hasbro?” asked Senator Heidi Heitkamp (D-N.D.), adding that she guessed this must mean the guys behind Nerf represent a growing threat to democracy. “The fact that Mr. Cramer chose such a weird company to get paid off by reflects badly on Congress and America. His betrayal should shock and confuse his constituents and colleagues."
Cramer has met criticism from both sides of the aisle for his curious choice in selling out. “Cramer is just another example of the string of very strange corruption sweeping through Washington,” said Representative Doug Lamborn (R-Colo.). “What are they even paying for? I just don’t get it.”
Cramer has remained largely silent on the issue, but did offer a press release in which he explained he was “deeply sorry” for apparently doing this weird thing.
As of press time, a second report has revealed that the first report was funded by Lego.
