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Local kidnapper Steve Frankel has established himself as a favorite among victims, who support his totally cool practices of letting them stay up past 9 p.m. every night and eat any sugar cereal they want for breakfast.
“Mr. Frankel’s the best!” exclaimed 9-year-old Jim Evans, who has spent the past two weeks in Frankel’s basement as police forces mobilize search and rescue teams on his behalf. “Sometimes we just stay up till midnight eating cookies and playing video games. He even let me play the games with the cool explosions that my mom says are too violent.”
“She never lets me do anything,” added Evans.
Parents of the kidnapping victims, however, have expressed concern for the safety and well-being of their children.
“For God’s sake, he’s letting my little Jimmy watch all sorts of TV shows late into the night while we’re scraping together the $10,000 of ransom money,” complained Rebecca Evans, mother of currently missing kidnapping victim Jim. “The last thing we need around here is someone like him exposing our children to this filth.”
But despite such criticism, the children Frankel kidnaps continue to prefer his unorthodox methods.
“He’s way cooler than any of the other kidnappers that have taken me,” said Evans, before being ushered back inside so that the police wouldn’t see him.
