Reports indicated the tornado in Topeka picked up a cow who had a fricking blast up there.

“Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Moooooooooooooo!!” yelled Isabella the cow, as the creature who previously only knew a quiet, calm life on her Kansas farm now whizzed past reporters at gale speeds. “MOOO mooooooo!!”

“This is straight up insane!! Holy human!” continued Isabella as the 1,500 pound cow never felt any sensation coming close to being whipped up in the air like a light feather. “MOOOOOOO MMMMMOO MMMOOO.”

“Is this what things are now? It feels like life has just begun!” Continued Isabella who didn’t know her death is imminent, and meer moments away. “WOOO MMOOO WOOOO WOO MOOO WWMOOOMWOMWOWMMOWOOOOWMMOOOMWOWMOWMWOMWOWMMOMMWMOWMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOO OWOMWMMOOOW OWOWWMWOWOWMMWOWo!”

At press time, sharks in tornadoes feel viscous, vengeful, and out for human
blood.

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