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In a statement issued last week by the U.S. Federal Reserve, economists argued that the horrific recession of 2009 could actually be interpreted, from upside down, as an economic boom.
“There’s not really any principle in economics that suggests that we should be looking at this data right side up,” said Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke. “As far as we know, this is the most rapid growth that the American economy has experienced since the 1930s.”
Bernanke said that it is his responsibility to curb the irrational fears of the American people and that the media has been looking at the economic data “all wrong” for some years now.
“There’s actually no evidence that points to any economic downturn in the last few years,” Bernanke said, adding quietly, “when you turn the graph upside down.”
Analysts from the Fed also stated that, when you take the absolute value of all the stock market activity over the last decade, which “usually doesn’t really change anything anyway,” it is obvious that the American economy is one of the most stable in the world.
In fact, according to recently collected data from the Department of Labor, the unemployment rate is at only 6 percent right now.
Harvey Walsh, a janitor from Pawtucket, said after looking at his finances from a different perspective that he might go out and purchase that Prius he has been considering buying for a while.
“I mean, shit, from this angle it looks like I might actually earn money from buying this new car,” Walsh said. “But I’m going to ask for a Prius with wheels on the bottom, not like the one in the picture.”
Walsh decision was influenced by the Fed’s statement to the president last week, in which Bernanke outlined a plan of action for the economy in the upcoming years.
“We strongly advise the president to increase government expenditures, which from our point of view seems like the only way to curb our booming economy,” Bernanke said, standing on his head. “We are also looking into analyzing this data from a 90-degree angle, because it looks like everything keeps snaking up when we do that, which is great for the economy, and it’s kind of trippy.”
