Friday, November 24, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Cultured Woman’s Authentic Pronunciation Of “Croissant” Contains Only Vowels

Published Friday, November 3rd, 2017

After browsing her local bakery’s selection of pastries, cultured woman Charlotte Graham ordered a croissant using a pronunciation that contained only vowels. “She just let out this one long, rolling syllable,” said the cashier on duty, adding that she was thankful Graham pointed to the pastry she wanted since her order was so hard to understand. “I’ve heard a lot of phlegmy and guttural pronunciations of that word before but this one was just remarkable. It was exclusively As, Es, Is, Os, and Us.” When asked for comment, Graham assured reporters that that was how the French say it.

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