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The Brown Noser

DJ Not Even Pressing Things Anymore

Published Friday, April 24th, 2015

Club-goers at Ultra, a popular Providence nightlife destination, reported that house DJ Mike Tobert has not touched his equipment in the past twenty minutes.

“He pressed a key on his Macbook a little while ago,” said club-goer Christina Tomlinson, “but he’s just kind of been hopping around the stage ever since. I’m not sure exactly why he even bothered.”

Tomlinson added that despite Tobert’s relative inactivity, he “seems really excited.”

Other attendees have stated that although Tobert has delivered a number of emphatic fist-pumps above his head and adjusted the headphones around his neck at least a couple of times over the course of the last few songs, he has not pressed any buttons or apparently influenced the music in any way.

“My favorite part was when the music transitioned to Ke$ha and then back to Calvin Harris again," reported Tomlinson, who added that she imagined Tobert did that even though he was nowhere near the mix-table. "I saw him ordering a drink at the bar right then so I went up and told him.”

As of press time, Tobert had resumed twisting all the little dials even though his board wasn’t plugged in.

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