At a campus dance yesterday evening, it was reported that a DJ created a sick transition from one of your favorite songs to the worst song you’ve ever heard.

“When they started playing my song request, I got so excited. A lot of people got up and ran to the dance floor, too,” said Dan Waldorf, praising the DJ who was too busy switching it up with a quirky record scratch to notice the crowd’s response. “He amped up the bass, and everyone was so into it, but then it transitioned into a trap remix of We Are the World and that was just not the vibe!”

“This guy has one job and he’s not doing it very well,” added Waldolf, clamping his hands over his ears as the DJ began interspersing air horn blasts into the tape. “Then he threw on some experimental stuff that I think he mixed himself. I just don’t get why he has a song-request list up there if he isn’t going to use it.”

At press time, the climax of the action movie you were watching was abruptly interrupted by a Pampers commercial.

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