In a tense exchange this past weekend, your father was clearly making a heat of the moment decision about whether or not to be weird to your new boyfriend.
“He seems like a nice kid,” your father began, clearly deciding to not convinced in the slightest, “but I don’t know. You’re my little girl, I just don’t know if I can trust him.”
“I’m sure he’s great,” your dad continued as he eyed your boyfriend warily while giving him a firm handshake and a grimacing smile, “but I don’t want you to get caught up in anything too fast, alright honey? One day he could just get up and leave you, and I wouldn’t ever want to be responsible for that.”
At press time, your brother was dead set on calling you a stinkhead.

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