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The Brown Noser

Dad Sending Wordle to Daughter Like He Didn’t Abandon Family, Leave Them Destitute

Published Friday, May 12th, 2023

According to local sources, Dad Brendon Crawford has been sending his Wordle results to his daughter Maria like he didn’t abandon his family and leave them destitute a decade ago.

“This one was a tough one, but I pulled it out of the bag,” Crawford texted Maria, neglecting the fact that his abrupt departure from the family unit and his refusal to pay child support had forced her to grow up in poverty. “No shame getting it in six tries!”

“A lot of vowels in this one, yeesh,” Crawford told Maria via text, completely ignoring the fact that he disappeared ten years ago after using his daughter’s college fund to pay shady loan sharks. “I swear, some of these aren’t even real English words!”

At press time, Maria’s Mom was sharing her New York Times crossword streak with her daughter like she didn’t force Maria into the unfair position of raising her younger siblings.

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