Partly Cloudy, 64°
At Friday’s family movie night, Dad’s enthusiastic screening of his favorite buddy comedy “Hitchhikers” hints that he is probably bisexual.
“That kind of close male relationship isn’t heard of these days,” said Dad, longingly fixed on the screen as two queer-coded male leads tussle in a corn field, suggesting Dad could be attracted to men.“Boy do I miss roughin’ it up with the boys like that. Rollin around in the grass.”
“You know I love your mother, but there’s something special about this kind of relationship between two men,” added Dad, gazing at the homoerotic eye contact over darts in a road-side bar that can only mean women aren’t the only ones in Dad’s equation. “Playing darts. Drinking beer. Slapping each others’ asses. This director really knows his stuff!”
At press time, Mom’s favorite romance novel hints she has never experienced an orgasm during sex.
