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Chasing another stray ball headed toward the bleachers, dedicated JV basketball player Colin Silva vowed to miss at least 100 free throws after every single practice. Silva’s coaches and teammates confirmed that he is the hardest working weak-link on the entire team.
“He always gives 110 percent,” said Coach Wohler, who has been very impressed with Silva’s persistent inability to sink even a single free throw long after his more naturally talented teammates have gone home. “His commitment to practice despite never showing any modicum of improvement is extremely admirable.”
Wohler added, “It almost makes me want to put him in a game some time, but I want to win.”
Sources confirm that Silva usually sticks around after games he never plays in to run suicides at a pitiable pace and work on his abysmal fundamentals, refusing to leave the gymnasium until he has sent at least 50 three pointers ricocheting off the backboard or until the custodians turn off the lights.
“You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take,” said Silva, wiping sweat off his forehead after his fortieth shot of the night bounced off the rim. “Even Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team.”
At press time, Silva was trying to dribble between his legs and sprained his ankle.
