Defendant Sean Burnside accidentally addressed the Honorable Judge George Whitaker as “Mom” while on trial for robbing a gas station. “Oh my god, that has to be THE most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me!” stated Burnside, intensely paranoid that the rest of the courtroom was going to bully him for his humiliating slip-up. “What a weird day I’m having. I really hope no one noticed.” At press time, Burnside was mortified after accidentally saying “love you, bye” on a call to his lawyer.

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