Partly Cloudy, 64°
In the wake of the New York mayoral election, a defiant Democratic Party has signaled they will not be dissuaded by Mamdani’s victory.
“The Democratic Party is an institution whose principles do not change, even in the face of overwhelming scrutiny from our constituents,” said Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, choosing his words carefully so as not to accidentally inspire anybody. “We congratulate Mr. Marmadoni for his win, and we want to assure our voters that the promises he won with will never make their way into our national agenda!”
“All of us are inspired by the resounding victory in NYC. That’s why we’re going to run double the amount of white, center-left octogenarians in 2026,” continued Schumer, confidently remarking that young voters will once again be swayed by the “better than nothing” strategy. “The Democratic Party looks forward to a brave political fight full of compromise and backing down. The worst is yet to come!”
In a follow-up statement, Schumer declared that Donald Trump is a very bad president and that someone should really do something to challenge him.
