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The Brown Noser

Dejected Lit Arts Concentrator Who Couldn’t Get Into Class On Mushroom Poetry Forced To Take Workshop On Cloud Fiction

Published Friday, February 4th, 2022

Reading the rejection email on her laptop, forlorn Lit Arts concentrator Janice Newman realized she would have to abandon her efforts to enroll in a class on mushroom poetry and instead take a workshop on cloud fiction.

“This just really sucks,” said Newman, airing her frustration at being turned away from LITR 1132B: Fungal Poetics and now having to slog through LITR 1520G: Fiction From Clouds. “I need to take a Lit Arts course this semester to fulfill my concentration requirements, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be this one. Studying and writing mushroom poetry would have really helped me develop my creative practice. I just don’t think I’m gonna get much out of cloud fiction.”

“I spent so much time on my application to Fungal Poetics, so I don’t know what went wrong,” Newman continued, jealous of the privileged few who would get to spend a whole semester writing verse about toadstools and spores. “I guess I’ll just have to make the best of it and try to come up with things to say about clouds. But it seems like a waste of time, in my opinion.”

At press time, an MCM concentrator was fuming at not getting into a class called CAMERA/WIND/BODY.

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