Partly Cloudy, 64°
At 8:45 PM on Monday night, as Smitties department store began to close up for the evening, store manager Martha Burgess reported that all remaining shoppers had fifteen minutes to find their children.
“Attention all shoppers: please make your final selections and locate any children that you swore were by your side just a minute ago,” Burgess announced over the loudspeaker. “We politely request you finalize all searches through clothes racks for stray children who you only turned your back on for one second.”
“Once you have successfully found all your children, please proceed to the registers so our associates can check you out and enjoy the evening with their families who know how to stay put,” continued Burgess. “Thank you for shopping at Smitties and we do hope you recover your lost children.”
Right at closing time, Burgess announced that all unclaimed children can be collected the following day during normal operating hours.
