Partly Cloudy, 64°
Sources confirmed that a depressed student discovered a new hidden study spot this week directly beneath the traffic light between Thayer and Waterman Streets.
“It’s honestly perfect,” said Abigail Soto ’27, sitting cross-legged in a small pothole between the curb and a no-parking sign, balancing her laptop as cars honked inches away. “It’s quiet in a really loud way, which makes it easy to tune out my thoughts. Plus, you never have to fight anyone for your spot, probably because it’s technically illegal to stand here for more than six seconds.”
“I asked if she was okay,” confirmed driver Jacob Wright after accidentally parking his car over her NEUR 2100 textbook. “I saw her nodding between the headlights. She said she has ten pages left to write for her paper on colonialism in the context of APMA-CS, but this study spot can make that zero pages. Then she asked if I could plug her charger into the traffic signal box. I don’t want her to get hurt, but, looks-wise, it seems like she’s already been hit by a few Camrys.”
At press time, Soto was reportedly crafting a makeshift cushion out of her failed midterms on the Amtrak tracks.
