Reports indicate that your plantain-like friend just can’t resist intervening whenever he sees someone peeling their banana from the stem, which is obviously the wrong way to go about it.
“Ahh no no no, not right!” exclaimed the oblong-faced, asymmetrical, stalk-like friend who, much like a plantain, tricked you into thinking they’d be sweet but turned out to be weird and, clearly, kind of gross.
First-year Harold Anderson who paid an arm and a leg to get into Brown definitely wrote about being an amputee in his application.
“I don’t know what to say, except that whatever anyone thinks I did, I would never do,” exclaimed Anderson, subtly concealing the fact that his amputation had all been a ploy to pay his way into the University.
Partly Cloudy, 64°
